The Chocolate Cream Pie That Beat Me.

Oh my goodness. This chocolate phenomenon was the bane of my existence this week.

No, seriously.

Never in my life have I re-created the same dish THREE TIMES in one week just because it didn't come out right the first time and I wanted to prove my worth.

Too bad it didn't come out right the second or third time either.

So why post this on a blog and try to get you to make it? Because I think I've FINALLY found the solution!

Here was the problem with pie #1: when mixing the sugar & butter (first step), the sugar ended up being grainy and stayed grainy all the way up through the final product. The pie tasted wonderful, but the grainy texture was a total turn-off.

Problem with pie #2: I asked the pastry chefs at my restaurant (Bobby Flay's pastry chefs, mind you) what to do about the grainy thing, and they suggested using pure cane sugar and beating it a lot longer than I had before (for a total of about 10 minutes at least). Only thing was, I went to WholeFoods, and they only had organic cane sugar, which turned out even MORE grainy than my first batch! I had to throw it all away before I even got half way through with the recipe.

Problem with pie #3: Ok, so this was definitely the best pie out of the 3 (thank goodness!), but being SO frustrated with my first two pies, I resorted to using a sugar that was sure to end up creamy and smooth. Powdered sugar. Absolutely blasphemous to those of you who know chocolate cream pies are meant to be light and airy and fluffy (powdered sugar creates a very dense chocolate cream), but hey, at least it tasted good, and I didn't end up throwing my new KitchenAid Mixer across the kitchen.

Anyhoo, after THREE (ugh, how embarrassing) mostly failed attempts, I went back to Bobby Flay's pastry chefs and begged them to wave their magic spatula and make me a better cook.

They left their magic spatula home that day. Bummer.

But I think we did figure it out!

Pastry Chef Said (pronounced 'Sah-eed'. He's from Casablanca! For reals. And no, he hasn't seen the movie.), "Which attachment did you use on your mixer to cream the butter and sugar?"

Me: "Well, the recipe said to whisk the eggs in later, so I was using the whisk attachment."

Said: "You crazy pants! You should try using the paddle attachment for the butter and sugar and beat it until it looks white and fluffy!"

Except he didn't call me crazy pants.

But maybe he should have.

It all makes sense now. When I make my buttercream frosting, I beat sugar and butter the exact same way as this recipe and it comes out great every time. Why? Because I use the paddle attachment for that recipe. Duh. 

So, I dare you; nay, I DOUBLE DOG DARE YOU, to try this recipe the way it was meant to be made. And tell me how it turns out. Because I have a feeling I may not attempt this one for a very, very long time.

Chocolate Cream Pie
Said's way, not mine. 
 
Prep Time: 30 minutes
Cook Time: none
Difficulty: Intermediate (or advanced if you're like me. Oi.)
Servings: 1 pie (9")

INGREDIENTS:

• 4 oz. Unsweetened Baking Chocolate (more if you want to make chocolate curls)
• 1 cup salted butter, softened
• 1 1/2 cup sugar (pure cane sugar like Domino or C&H)
• 1 tsp. vanilla extract
• 4 whole eggs
• 1 baked pie shell, 9" (regular, graham cracker or chocolate - all taste great!)
• 1 tub whipped cream, if desired

In a small microwave safe bowl, melt 4 oz. of unsweetened baking chocolate (20 second intervals on high). Set aside to cool.

In a large bowl with an electric mixer AND USING THE PADDLE ATTACHMENT, beat butter and sugar together until white and fluffy (about 5-10 minutes). Add vanilla extract and beat until combined.

Now switch to your whisk attachment and on medium speed, add in the 4 eggs, one at time, whisking mixture for 4-5 minutes in between each addition. This will make your mixture light and fluffy. Once eggs are in, add the cooled chocolate, mixing just until completely incorporated. Fold in the chocolate if you'd like, to help keep everything nice and light.

Once everything is well mixed, pour it into your 9" pie shell. Smooth out the filling on top and chill in your fridge for at least 2 hours (longer is better). Serve with a heaping mound of whipped cream on top and some chocolate curls.

HOW TO MAKE CHOCOLATE CURLS:

I knew you were going to ask! It's very simple, really. Melt another 1/4 cup of your baking chocolate, and spread it fairly thin onto a non-stick baking pan. Put this in the fridge to harden up for about 4 minutes, checking on it every minute after that until it's ready. It'll be ready when you press your finger on top and it makes a very slight indent in the chocolate. If it's sticky, keep it in the fridge longer, if your finger makes no mark, take it out of the fridge and let it sit on the counter for a few minutes. 

When it's chilled long enough, take it out of the fridge and, using a butter knife or spoon (a spoon helps encourage the "curling" shape), scrape the chocolate up in a long line so that it curls. If it's coming up in just a long strip (i.e. not curling), try putting it back in the fridge for a minute. If it's flaking off in chunks, leave it out on the counter for a minute. Just play around with it until you get it right! Have fun!

St. Patty's Day Cupcakes

I told you so.

After one post involving something healthy and nutritious, we're back to where we started: a recipe involving copious amounts of butter and sugar!

Ah, it's nice to be back where I belong.

Tomorrow is St. Patty's Day, and now that I've married into a good ol' Irish family, I feel like I need to honor my inherited roots with a baked good. Preferably something green, since, you know, that's the easier option to baking something in the shape of a four leaf clover. Or a leprechaun.

I guess in Ireland they barely even celebrate the holiday. They all get the day off work and there are a few town parades for families and tourists, but mostly the working class just spends the day drinking.

Sounds like a good holiday to me!

But since I like neither Guinness nor Jameson, a sugar-laden cupcake will have to do.

Brownie Cupcakes with Green Mint Buttercream Icing

(if you don't like mint, just make plain buttercream for equal deliciousness!)

Prep Time: 10 minutes for brownies, 15 for icing
Cook Time: 15-18 minutes
Difficulty: Easy
Servings: 24 cupcakes

INGREDIENTS FOR CUPCAKES:

• 1 1/2 cups sugar
• 3/4 cup butter, softened
• 1 1/2 tsp. vanilla 
• 3 eggs
• 4 tablespoon baking cocoa
• 1 1/4 cup flour
• 3/4 tsp. salt
• 3/4 cup chocolate mint chips (found at Target; Nestle brand)

INGREDIENTS FOR MINT BUTTERCREAM ICING:
*recipe courtesy of MissyDew via Tasty Kitchen

• 5 tablespoons flour
• 1 cup milk
• 1/2 tsp. vanilla extract
• 1 tsp. peppermint extract
• 1 cup butter
• 1 cup granulated sugar (not powdered sugar)
• green food coloring (optional)

Preheat the oven to 350º.

For brownies, stir together flour, cocoa powder and salt. Set aside. In a separate bowl, cream together the softened butter and sugar. Mix in the vanilla and the 3 eggs (1 at a time), until combined.

Fold in the flour mixture, mixing just until flour is completely moistened. Mix in your mint chocolate chips.

Spray 24 cupcake liners with baking spray (brownie cupcakes are sticky!) and fill each about 1/2 full with brownie batter.

Bake for about 15-18 minutes, being careful not to over (or under) cook. You don't want the middle of the brownies looking too wet before you take them out (or the cupcakes will collapse in on themselves), but you don't want burnt edges either.

While the cupcakes are cooling completely, we're going to make the best frosting ever! Don't be concerned about the fact that it has flour in it. Trust me on this.

In a small saucepan, whisk the flour into the milk and heat, stirring constantly, until it thickens up like a paste. You want it to be about as thick as your brownie batter. Remove from heat and let it cool to room temperature. It must completely cool before you use it!

While the mixture is cooling, cream the butter and sugar together until light and fluffy. Beat it a long time to get as much graininess out of it as possible.

Stir the vanilla into your cooled flour/milk mixture. Then add it to your sugar/butter mixture and beat it a long, long time until it resembles whipped cream. Add a few drops of green food coloring just for fun. Then beat it some more.

...then beat it some more, because you probably still haven't beaten it enough. Ok, good.

Grab a spoon and taste test it, just to make sure it's not poisonous.

If there's any left after all the testing, spread it liberally on top of your cupcakes.

Sprinkle them with fun little green sprinkles, just to make things extra festive.

Top o' the mornin' to ya!

Trick yourself into eating healthy!

This may come as a shock to some of you, but I am actually posting a recipe that is healthy.

I KNOW.

After a string of posts involving my three favorite food groups: chocolate, butter and sugar, my waistline is begging for a change.

That, and I just don't have the money to buy new pants.

So there.

If you were to ask my hubby what my biggest food vice is, he'd probably say, "guacamole".

And he'd be right.

But if you were to ask him what my second biggest food vice is, he'd say, "ice cream".

And he'd be even more right.

I crave ice cream. Doesn't matter if it's 15º outside and the heater is broken, I to want some. I don't know what it is about it. The creaminess? The iciness? The sweet-but-not-too-sweet-ness of it? Yes. All of the above. It's a brilliant invention.

Only trouble is, ice cream = not healthy. So, I (and by I, I mean my hubby) came up with an easy substitute that tastes just as creamy and delicious, but is totally good for you!

It's not rocket science. It's almost embarrassingly simple. But it's healthy and delicious, so here we go!

Homemade Vanilla Berry Sorbet

(no ice cream maker needed!)

Prep Time: 5 minutes
Cook Time: 0 minutes
Difficulty: Easy
Servings: 2 

INGREDIENTS:

• 1 1/2 cup mixed berries, frozen
• 3/4 cup low-fat vanilla yogurt

Oh my gosh. 2 ingredients? How embarrassing. 

Do i dare pretend you don't know how to do this? Ok, I must.

Add fruit and yogurt to food processor or blender and pulse for about a minute, until large chunks of fruit are broken down. Blend and serve in bowls (mixture will be fairly thick) so it tricks you into thinking you're eating ice cream! 

Hooray for healthy eating!!

...at least until my next post.