I done cooked me a crock pot chicken!

I done cooked me a meal in a crock pot today, yes I did. 

It's been about 5 months since my last post on The Dinky Kitchen, and I'm sorry to say my first post back is going to be a bit lame. 

There's a little back-story to this tale, I hope you don't mind. You see, our oven is broken. Actually, it's BEEN broken. For the last 7 months. Ok, the first 4 of those months it sort of worked. It DID heat up, but only after preheating for over an hour and a half. Seriously. But the last few months it's really not been working. The beast needs to get fixed. I'm missing the prime baking season!!

For shame.

But an old, rusty, dead oven can't stop me from taking advantage of a sale on 5lb. chickens. Goodness, no.

Especially when I own a crock pot.

Crock Pot Rotisserie Chicken

Prep time: 15 minutes
Cook Time: 4-8 hours
Difficulty: Easy

Servings: 4ish

INGREDIENTS:

• 1 whole chicken, skinned (4-5 lbs)
• 2 tsp. kosher salt
• 1 tsp. paprika
• 1 tsp. onion powder
• 1/2 tsp. dried thyme
• 1 tsp. Italian seasoning
• 1/2 tsp. cayenne pepper
• 1/2 tsp. black pepper
• 4 whole garlic cloves
• 1 yellow onion, quartered

Your first task: grab a stool or a chair, get your crock pot out of your highest, most out-of-the-way cupboard, and dust it off. Or, if you're in NYC like me, wash it 5 times in the sink to get all the grime off that accumulated from lack of proper ventilation.

Skin the chicken in the sink (be careful of salmonella!!!!!!!! there. you've been properly warned.), and get the neck and other random body parts out of the inner cavity. You can keep these bits to make chicken stock, or you can be like me and realize that it's a fantastic idea, but let's be real. I am not going to have the time or motivation to make homemade chicken stock. Probably ever. 

In a small bowl, combine all your dry spices. Add some more of whatever is in your pantry, just for kicks. I think I added some garlic powder. Can't be too sure, but history would be prove that I ALWAYS add garlic powder. So there you go. 

Rub your spices all over the chicken, inside and out. Really get grossed out by the feel of it all. No pain, no gain! 

Stuff the inside of your chicken with the garlic cloves and onion quarters. Really shove 'em in there. Place the chicken breast-side down in your crock pot. DO NOT ADD WATER. 

Cook on high for 4-5 hours or on low for 8. My bird cooked faster than I expected (be sure to use a meat thermometer to determine if it's done!), but I just kept it on low until we were ready to eat it. The best part about cooking this in a crock pot is that all the juices stay in the pot, so you end up with an inch or so of liquid in there, keeping things really moist and tender. 

The flavor of this chicken is fantastic, and even with my hubby trying to gain weight and eating a high-protein diet, we had a TON of leftovers, perfect for making sandwiches!

Kickin' Chicken. I dare you to add extra cayenne.

It may not look like much, but this chicken is the BEST baked chicken in the WHOLE WIDE WORLD. And yes, it deserves all those capslocked letters.

Because it's baked. Which is a secret word for "healthy". Shhhhhh. Don't tell your husbands. Or your kids. Or anyone else with a particular detestation of all things remotely good for you.

This recipe has been our "go to" recipe for a few weeks now, as chicken legs are cheap and don't take long to cook. Definitely a plus when it's hot and sticky outside and you're spending all your money on air conditioning! Just the fact that I am evening turning my oven on for this recipe is a clear sign it's a winner.

This chicken definitely has a "kick" to it, but you can easily use less kick if you want to. Just decrease the amount of cayenne, or eliminate it entirely if you have no backbone and are a total wuss. I won't tell.

Crunchy Baked Chicken "With a Kick"

Prep time: 10 minutes
Cook Time: approx. 30 minutes
Difficulty: Easy

Servings: 2-4

INGREDIENTS:

• 1 1/2 lbs. chicken drumsticks
• 1/2 tsp. garlic powder
• 1/2 tsp. onion powder
• 1/2 tsp. cumin
• 1/2 tsp. chili powder
• 1/2 tsp. cayenne powder (refuse if you're a wuss)
• 1 tsp. kosher salt
• 1 cup flour
• 1/2 cup buttermilk
• 1 egg
• 2 tbsp. cajun seasoning
• 1 cup panko bread crumbs 

Preheat your oven to 375º.

You will need 3 shallow bowls to create your "dipping station". In your first bowl, mix the garlic powder, onion powder, cumin, chili powder, cayenne, salt and flour. In the second bowl, whisk the egg and buttermilk together. And in the third bowl, mix the panko and Cajun seasoning.

Grab a chicken leg and dredge it in the flour mixture, then dip in egg mixture, then coat it with the Cajun panko. Put chicken leg into an oven-safe dish. Repeat with all chicken drumsticks, making sure there is adequate space between each one in your baking dish (I use a large roasting pan so there's ample room).

Bake for 15 minutes, then flip each drumstick over to ensure they receive equal crisping on both sides! Bake for another 15-20 minutes, or until internal temperature is 160º.

These are best served with my secret sauce (ranch dressing + lemon juice + Cajun seasoning). It's embarrassingly easy, but surprisingly delicious. Try it!

Bacon Cookies with Maple Glaze

Bacon.

Yes, bacon.

In a cookie. With maple syrup.

Because we can.

My hubby and I made these for the 4th of July BBQ we attended. Well, actually he forced me to make them. He'd made a version earlier in the week (yes, my very own hubby baked BY HIMSELF. And nothing burned down.), and it just didn't taste like bacon. Not enough bacon, we decided, and the dough was too sweet.

Enter, moi.

The recipe below is a mish-mash of a few different idea. The main cookie dough recipe is Jacques Torres', which appeared in the New York Times. Everything else is purely experimental, but turned out freakishly delicious.

The result is a fairly light cookie, not too sweet, with chunks of thick bacon throughout and a sprinkling of kosher salt on top. Drizzled with a maple glaze and finished with a garnish of fresh bacon crumbles.

This is baking at its finest, people.

Judging by people's skeptical looks when we revealed our bacon treats at the BBQ, my first thought was that we were going to be eating a LOT of cookies this week. No one seemed too keen on trying the meat cookies.

But then word spread like grease in a skillet (sorry, had to do that), and lo and behold, before the fireworks even started, all 47 cookies were gone.

And there were not 47 people at this BBQ. Some people had to have had 2 cookies. Some had 3. My friend Chris confessed to eating 5.

And no one's heard from him since.

Bacon Cookies with Maple Glaze

Prep time: 20 minutes
Cook Time: 6 minutes
Difficulty: Easy-Intermediate
Servings: exactly 47 cookies

INGREDIENTS FOR COOKIES:

• 2 cups minus 2 tablespoons cake flour
• 1 2/3 cups bread flour
• 1 1/4 teaspoons baking soda
• 1 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
• 1 1/2 teaspoons course salt (I used kosher)
• 2 1/2 sticks (1 1/4 cups) unsalted butter (I used salted)
• 1 1/4 cups light brown sugar
• 1 cup plus 2 tablespoons granulated sugar
• 2 large eggs
• 2 teaspoons pure vanilla extract
• 2 cups bacon bits (plus 2 extra strips to chop up for garnish)
• kosher salt, for sprinkling on cookies

INGREDIENTS FOR MAPLE GLAZE:

• pure maple syrup
• confectioners' sugar (approximately 1 1/2 cups, more or less)

Heat oven to 350º.

Sift flours, baking soda, baking powder and salt in a small bowl, set aside.

Cream together butter, granulated sugar, brown sugar and vanilla extract in a large mixing bowl until very light in texture and color, about 5 minutes.

Add the eggs one at a time, beating well after each addition.

Gradually beat in flour mixture. Mix the flour in only until combined.

Spoon out dough onto nonstick cookie sheets (we made them small - about 1 heaping teaspoon of dough each) and sprinkle lightly with kosher salt. Bake for 6 minutes, longer if you're making larger cookies. Cool on wire racks before topping with maple glaze.

For maple glaze, it's not an exact science. It's not even science at all. Or exact. Just dump a good amount of confectioner's sugar into a medium size bowl and drizzle in enough pure maple syrup to where the the mixture drizzles easily off a spoon, but isn't too runny. We made ours pretty thick because I wanted it to set quickly, and it turned out wonderful.

Add a little cinnamon to the mixture if you'd like to give it a bit more flavor (I did. It was good.).